It's been a while now

It's been nearly a year since I've been on this site. I almost forgot I was here. LOL so many things have changed I don't know where to begin. I finished my first year of college, had some domestic issues that had to be put to an end and for a while there, I honestly did not think we were going to make it. But looking back, I realize that all that my children and I have gone through was necessary. My life is so peaceful now. No drama and we live in a quiet 2 bedroom apt. I know now that I am not alone, that we are protected by the Great Spirit that dwells in all living things and with his blessings, we are making it. My spirituality has become very important to me as I return to the traditional native american spirituality that my ancestors had faith in. I return to my roots and hopefully, some of that spirituality will become part of my childrens' lives. I am grateful for all that I have. I am grateful for the job that I have, even though it sucks some days and is heavily physically demanding on this old body. LOL Gratitude and humility is what the Great Spirit wanted me to learn and I find it easier to be grateful and humble more and more each day. Thank you so much!

Growing up is hard to do

It's a lot harder than it looks y'know. Growing up. Being 18 and still so dependent on your parents and others. When you want so desperately to be on your own and lacking the skills and finances to make it possible. Going to school sux. Working for the next 50 years sux. Life in general at this age, sux. All you want to do is go out there in the great big world and have fun. Fun with no rules. No adults telling you what to do. Now THAT is being free. Or is it? When adults are not telling you what to do, the law does. Even though you might not have to abide by "house rules", you have to abide by the law. Society has its' own rules. The responsibilities of being an adult are endless. You have to be responsible and get a job, pay your bills and possibly continue your education. In todays' competitive job market, the more education you have, the better your chances of getting a nice job. And should you choose not to get an education, the more hours you'll have to put in at your slave labor job just to make ends meet. And let's not even talk about dating. Being an adult isn't what it's cracked up to be, is it? For so long, you have dreamed of turning 18 and having your parents no longer tell you what to do. And now look. The cops tell you what to do. Society tells you what to do. Employers tell you what to do. Teachers tell you what to do. The list is endless. And when you're 40, whether you are successful or not, people will still be telling you what to do.

Freeloaders & the Girls Who Leave Them

Freeloaders.. So many things come to mind when you say that. Grown people living off of others. Sponges. Moochers. I kicked mine to the curb yesterday. Couldn't afford to keep him around. He acted surprised when I told him 2 weeks ago he had to move out. I told him it's been a long time coming and he shouldn't be surprised. We hadn't been intimate in nearly a year and it was just getting old. I got to that point when I just asked, "What do I need this guy for? He's not close to me any more. He feels no duty, responsibility or obligation towards me or my two children. Can't help pay the bills. So why is he here? Can't put food on the table or help me out in any way. So why keep him? Love? Uhm.. no." And since he's left, I feel so much more.. well.. free er.. If that makes sense to anybody. Like cutting out a hangnail or pulling out a dead tooth. I attend college full-time and have 2 teenage children to raise. I certainly cannot afford to support a grown man capable of working, yet choosing not to. I try to raise my children, my son especially, to have a sense of duty, honor, responsibility towards his family. This is extremely difficult to do with a mooch lying around the house, hoping a job will just fall into his lap, sleeping all day playing video games. So yeah.. sometimes you have to kick people to the curb. Especially if they aren't good role models for your children. And you know what? I do not feel guilty about it.

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Why We Should Not Vote Rethuglikkkan Again

The past 8 years in this country has driven many Americans to the brink of despair and hopelessness. More than 5.4 million Americans have slipped below the poverty level, due to the loss of their homes, jobs and retirement funds. The war in Iraq will have cost this country 3 trillion dollars. You cannot spend this kind of money without feeling the pinch at home. Our vast and growing indebtedness inevitably makes it harder to afford new health-care plans, make large-scale repairs to crumbling roads and bridges, or build better-equipped schools. We owe China approximately $500 billion. We all know about the economic crisis this country is now facing because of this war and know what Congress plans on doing about it. Throw $700 billion at it with the hopes that it will go away. Iraq has a surplus of $93 billion, so tell me, why are we still spending money there? No time table has been given by anyone anywhere of when we plan on withdrawing. And after that, the government plans on sending more troops to Afghanistan and Iran, putting regular American citizens further and further into debt and putting our soldiers, regular citizens in harms' way. We all know the stance the government takes on our veterans. As long as they can use them up, they will and gawd forbid they get wounded in the process, because the healthcare they will receive is poor and shoddy, due to the money spent in a country we have no business in. Spreading democracy worldwide so other people can experience freedom, independence and equal rights? This was said by Sarah Pinocchio Palin recently. How could she say this when she,herself, does not believe in gay rights and is pro-life? I think that is the pot calling the kettle black. Hypocritical. To her and other religious whackjobs like her, equal rights are only given if you are a Christian. If you are gay or support abortion, you have no rights because she is seeking to take those rights away from you. Voting for her is voting against democracy, as she is seeking to set up a theocratic government within our borders. Sure, we have a long road ahead of us, with regards to the economy, wars, education for our children, healthcare, poverty and human rights. BTW, Sarah is against Native American rights and sovereignty, as evidenced by her experience within her own state. She often denied the Alaskan natives their rights, wishes to curtail their hunting and fishing rights to give sportsmen more rights to enjoy their sport. Shooting wolves from a plane does not strike me as sport. It is further endangering the rights of these animals to exist. Based on her experience on foreign policy, this country is in severe danger of being attacked yet again by terrorists. She is intolerant of other religions and tolerance is required to deal with foreign leaders who are not christian themselves. She obviously cannot speak well either and does not have the diplomacy and tact required to speak in public to anyone. According to her, going to Iraq was part of "God's plan". It was not. It was "man's plan", in this case, Bush and his cronies, to take over a country, take their oil for their own corporate greed and make that country part of ours. At great cost to us. There were never any WMD's in that country and Osama still has not been found. That administration has lied to millions of American citizens and they used fear tactics to push us into this war. Fear tactics to control the masses have always been a part of a dictatorial regime. John McCain has already proven, in my own mind, that he will say and do anything, moral or immoral, to win this election and he has voted with Bush time and time again (90%) and his various agendas. Mismanagement of BIA funds cost Native Americans billions of dollars, leaving at least 96% of this minority population in severe poverty, $25 billion has been lost and the Treasury Department has no idea where this money was spent. It is unreconciled. $25 billion could have funded the entire Justice Department. The list goes on and on. A real war on government waste could easily save over $100 billion annually without harming the legitimate operations and benefits of government programs. This is the legacy the Rethuglikkkan Party has left us, the common working American. Once again, they are asking (not really asking, more like, forcing) US to wipe their behinds because they were greedy and made mistakes. These mistakes cost most of us our homes, our jobs and our livelihood. Do we really need another 4 years of this? McCain is just like Bush and will implement the same age old policies that got this country into this mess in the first place. As for me, I am voting for Obama. The Rethuglikkkans have stolen, robbed, killed and looked away while hate crimes, violence, discrimination and inequality has been perpetrated upon MY people long enough. At least the Democrats have expressed interest in making it right with us.

Spirit Journeys

My latest journey began on Thursday, September 4, 2008 in Minneapolis, MN. I had attended a wake for the Twin Cities Director of AIM (American Indian Movement). This was a Native American wake and I had never experienced anything like it before. Ojibwes burn sage to purify the air around them, so when I entered the All Nations Church, the air smelled sweetly of sage. There was no mourning. Instead, there were stories of remembrance, drumming and singing. Our group left around 10 p.m. In the Ojibwe culture, funerals are not sad events. It is a time for remembering the good times and being happy that the loved one got called to a better place. The funeral was scheduled for Saturday. Friday night my daughter and I got a ride from another AIM member to Red Lake, about 4 hours northwest of St. Cloud. We met with other AIM members around 10 p.m. We booked a room at Comfort Inn in Bemidji and slept until morning. Saturday came and news that there would be a ceremony held on Saturday night with the funeral following Sunday morning reached us. So, we spent the day touring the Red Lake Reservation. While driving, a hawk flew across the road, we saw a couple of bears, a wolf/dog and upon walking on Red Lake Beach, we came across a pile of bones. Next to it was a wolfs' den. These events were amazing to me because that morning I had begun wondering who my "helper guide" was. And I saw the wolfs' den, wolf prints on the beach and a wolf/dog. I shall remember this day forever. It is the day that we came together as a group and became closer. It is also the day that I discovered my own spirituality.

Government Lies and Waste

I once was proud of our government, thinking we were the greatest country on the planet. Until I began researching the horrendous lies our government has been telling its' own citizens. They began to lie as early as the 1800's. To the Native Americans, in the form of treaties. Over 300 treaties they made and not one they kept. That was the beginning. When I think of a government that has gotten wealthy upon the backs of their own citizens, it enrages me. Buried in the Department of the Treasury’s 2003 Financial Report of the United States Government is a short section titled “Unreconciled Transactions Affecting the Change in Net Position,” which explains that these unreconciled transactions totaled $24.5 billion in 2003. A recent audit revealed that between 1997 and 2003, the Defense Department purchased and then left unused approximately 270,000 commercial airline tickets at a total cost of $100 million. Even worse, the Pentagon never bothered to get a refund for these fully refundable tickets. The Interior, Bureau of Indian Affairs (BIA) and the Treasury say they have simply "lost" over $100 billion rightfully belonging to the nation’s most impoverished people and claim they cannot now provide an accurate accounting of how much is owed to whom. $100 billion owed to Native Americans. IF Big Brother is watching us, who's watching Big Brother??